Tomorrow is the first day of placement. I shouldn’t be so nervous, I should be excited but I always build these things up to be something huge.
What if I don’t like it?
What if I’m not any good at it?
What if I mess up?
What if I cry in front of a client?
While this is my third of four clinical placements for this speech-path masters that I don’t seem to blog about very often it will be my first with adults and in a hospital setting. I think I feel a greater amount of pressure because this is the area I can see myself working in some day. What I wouldn’t give not to have anxiety issues at these times in my life.
Today was spent in avoidance. I slept until noon (glorious) then did the necessary internet checks. I organized paperwork. Went for a run (thanks for the company Hi-C!). Avoided paperwork some more. Did some reading. Realized that my choice to not get the flu shot will probably be really really frowned upon tomorrow at my orientation. Fingers crossed it doesn’t cause any major problems. I whipped up a very tasty dal (the one thing I’m allowed to make without following a recipe other than grilled cheese that turns out pretty fantastic).
I’m just not sure if I’m ready for placement to be my life. One positive thing will be the fact that I have to take TTC to placement so I’ll need a TTC pass! Woohoo! I’ll be using that baby every chance I get and exploring the city more. And meeting up with friends more. Oh the liberty! I will miss the guaranteed hour of walking at least 5 days per week though. Perhaps I’ll add another run to compensate. Speaking of running I think my schedule will probably change significantly due to placement. It is early enough that I’m probably not willing to fit in morning runs so it looks like I’ll be trying for evening ones right after placement. I hope my stomach will hold out long enough.